Hiccups
by Izanamie
Summary: Izaya has the hiccups.Namie being the good person she is decides to help...herseLf. From one cure to the next she tries to get rid of the problem whether its the hiccups or Izaya.


Authors Note: Well this came to me a while back and I decide to go for it after being inspired by all the IzayaxNamie fanfics I read. I absolutely love this couple. Its one of my favorite anime couple ever and I hope it happens. XD I'm glad to make my second story about them.(I know my first is still not finished and I'm sorry. I'll try though I'm not sure anyone wants to read it still.)

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara but I do own the plot.**

*Hiccup*

Namie's eyebrow twitched. She was tired of that sound. She had been hearing that all day and she about had it. She turned to look at her boss. Izaya Orihara was always annoying but today he was even more so than usual and he wasn't even trying to. He was lying on the couch faced down. He had been since this morning.

When she woke this morning she expected him to say something that was usually ignored by her but was surprised to find it quiet... well almost quiet. She did hear a hiccup. Little did she know that sound would annoy her throughout the rest of the day.  
>She decided to look for her boss and found him on the same couch he had been lying on all day. It then hit her that he had hiccups when she saw him slightly ounce from another hiccup. She laughed.<p>

"Seems today will be an enjoyable day." She said to herself as she sat down and proceeded to do some filing. People were less chatty when they had the hiccups and Izaya having them meant good news to her. Oh boy was she wrong. At first she was only mildly disturbed by the hiccups mostly glad Izaya was not bothering her as she worked but this happiness quickly wore off. Hearing nothing but hiccup after hiccup was driving her insane. So insane that she was beginning to miss Izaya's constant chatter.

She finally had it. She placed the files she was about to file down and walked over to Izaya.  
>"Will you stop it!" she told him though she knew it wasn't his fault but she needed someone to blame at the moment and she was not about to blame herself.<p>

He looked up at her trying to give her a smirk only to end up hiccupping. "Oh Namie you as a doctor should *hiccup* know I couldn't even if I wanted to and believe I do." he said. He sounded sincere but his face implied he seemed to find amusement in this.

Namie was not about to put up with this for the rest of the day.  
>"Well then we'll get rid of them." She said heading over to her laptop.<p>

Izaya eyed her curiously. "You can do that?"

Namie scoffed. He was clearly underestimating her. "I am at the top when it comes to the medical field." she bragged. Izaya smirked at this.

"Really? I thought that was Shinra. *hiccup* I mean you hired him to do some medical stuff like making *hiccup* Mika look like Celty which means that you couldn't do it."

"Oh shut it!" Namie interrupted him glaring at him. Izaya smiled. She was angry and he liked that. It was cute to see her angry. "Don't you dare compare me to that four-eyed idiot and say he's better than me. I only hired him because I'd rather not get my hands dirty when I could have someone else get them dirty for me." She said looking back at her screen. Izaya shrugged.

"What ever you say Namie dear *hiccup* but I have a question." he said getting up and walking over to where Namie sat. "If your so good in the medicine field then *hiccup* why are you looking up hiccup cures on line hmm?" he saw Namie stiffen at this but she forced herself to be calm.

"Well all my medical notes where lost back at my company when I fled." she said. In reality though she knew nothing on how to cure hiccups. She saw them as to insignificant to bother researching a cure for them.

Izaya chuckled a bit seeing through her lie. "But if you're such a great medic *hiccup* then shouldn't you have everything memorized by heart? *hiccup* I mean Shinra.."

"Do you want me to cure you of your hiccups or what?" Namie said having had it with him ridiculing her. Izaya shut up after that and nodded. "Let's see...oh wow there a lot of them. More than 100 supposed cures." Namie said slightly shocked by the number of cures there were.

Izaya slammed his hand on her desk causing Namie to slightly jump from the shock. "Well what *hiccup* are we waiting for? Let's get this started!" Namie was starting to reconsider if she really wanted to cure them and have him back in his annoying pride. He hiccupped again and she decided to go for it. Unfortunately she found hiccups more annoying than her boss.

**Cure 1**

Namie read the computer screen. "Well let's see...which should we try first?" she said scrolling through the multiple cures. Some of them were total fakes. She found it hard to believe that thinking of not hiccupping actually worked. Who the hell come up with these ridiculous cures anyway? "Well this one looks promising. To get rid of hiccups stand on your head..." when she read it out loud it sounded stupid.

Izaya didn't think so because he immediately began standing on his head. "Like this Namie?" he asked her. She turned to look at him. Idiot actually believed that would work. "No you're doing it wrong. Your supposed to have your eyes crossed and your tongue sticking out." she said sarcastically but she was surprised when he did it. She raised an eyebrow. Was he serious? Well time to test it. "You are also supposed to finish this off with a cart wheel." she said. He looked at her with an eyebrow raised before doing said cartwheel.

"I think it wor*hiccup*... never mind"

Namie smiled devilishly. She was going to have some fun with this. "Oh dear it didn't work. Oh well on to the next cure." she said looking through the cures once more.

**Cure 2**  
>"According to this it says to blow into a paper bag over and over again." she said. "But from what I learned the strength of hiccups depends on the person who has them and your a strong person in mind and body right?" she said to Izaya who nodded with a smirk. It was total BS but she wouldn't tell him that. She needed some entertainment and this was it along with payback for how he treats her.<p>

"Well of coarse Namie. *hiccup* What's your point?" he said beginning to look for a paper bag.

"Well these cures are made for the weaker average humans meaning they probably wont work on you like the last one for example, so I propose we make them stronger." she said sounding all serious and in business mode. She was laughing on the inside though.

"Stronger how? *hiccup* Please enlighten me Namie dear." he said looking from the kitchen where he was still looking for a paper bag to blow into to.

"Instead of blowing into a paper bag how about a plastic bag after all plastic is stronger than paper so perhaps that will do the trick." Namie said as she stood and went into the kitchen where Izaya just watched as she got a plastic bag. She handed it to him and he began to blow. He still hiccupped though.

"I don't *hiccup* think it's working." he said holding the bag out to her.

"Well of coarse not blowing is for the weak. A strong person like you should get the bag" she said taking it from him. She looked at it disgustingly. It had some saliva. Gross. "And place it...over their head and breath in it." she said doing just that to him.

"Namie I don't *hiccup* think this will work." he said. Wasn't this dangerous?

"Trust me it will work. You'll stop hiccupping eventually..." _when you die _she thought. She saw him begin to struggle a bit. She smiled but he pushed her off before removing the bag from his head.

"Next cure *hiccup* Namie." he said slightly glaring at her before he smirked. Namie cursed in her head. Damn she was so close to getting rid of this bastard for good. Curse her weaker human body.

**Cure 3**

She walked over to her desk. "It says drink a glass of water upside down." she said sounding bored. She needed to be careful on how she twisted these cures. Twist them to little and its no fun but twist them to much and he'll catch on.

"Ok then lets get to that then." he said getting a glass but Namie interjected.

"Wait. You think a single small cup of water will do for someone like you?"

Izaya eyed her. "Well what do you suppose I do? Drink two glasses of water?" he said chuckling. Namie smiled slightly.

"No. Instead of one or two measly cup of water I propose something bigger like a pitcher." she said getting one from the cabinets.

"A pitcher?.."

"I'm sorry is there an echo in here? Yes a pitcher"_ idiot _Namie mumbled the last part to herself. "No you go lie on the couch upside down as I fill this with water." Izaya eyed her then went to the couch. She then filled the pitcher to the brim.

She approached him as he lay upside down eyeing her innocently. She kind of felt bad taking advantage of the trust he had in her.

"Will you *hiccup* hurry it already. I don't particularly *hiccup* want to stay like this all day." he said smirking. Thoughts of pity quickly left her head and she held the pitcher near his face.

"Open wide" _you runt _"And let us get rid of the problem in this place." she said as she poured the water making sure to aim more for his nose than his mouth. In her mind she pictured holding him under water seeing the life leave his eyes. She was so caught up in her fantasy she didn't notice she ran out of water.

"It *hiccup* didn't work." he said snapping her out of it. She looked at him.

"So it didn't." she mumbled. Damn was he hard to kill. Well after being chased by that blond brute through most of his life he had to be she supposed.

**Cure 4**

"Drink a bottle of hot sauce." she read. Izaya laughed.

"No. I don't like *hiccup* spicy things without a little *hiccup* flavor to balance it out."

Namie walked to the kitchen rather emotionless with Izaya watching her rather amused. She came back running holding a bottle of hot sauce in her hand and eyes filled with fire.

"The site says to drink it so drink it!" she said while uncapping it and forcing him to drink it by holding his nose shut forcing him to breathe through his mouth. She watched happily as he drank it all down choking a bit and rushing to go drink water taking the pitcher from the last cure to do so. She admits that cure was more to amuse her than to get rid of him. She heard him hiccup again.

"Oh well on to the next one" she mumbled.

**Cure 5**

It said to give him sugar (mixed with cleaning deter ant on her part) and she did though she regretted it. He was on a sugar rush which canceled the cleaning deter ant's effect out completely. She ended up with an Izaya high on sugar for about 10 minutes. Those were the longest 10 minutes of her life. She was glad when he crashed.

**Cure 6**

It said to stick your fingers in your ears. He did that. She unfortunately found no way to twist that for her amusement until she read saying not to deep. She smiled slightly at this and went behind him planning on hitting his arm with her arm to force his finger deeper into his ear hoping that would making him bleed. It didn't go so great.

At that moment he happened to find some money on the floor shouting out that it must be his lucky day. He had bent down to pick it up forcing her hand to miss and hit her laptop knocking it down with a crash that she winced when she heard. She hoped it didn't break. She then glared at him as he held the money. That amount looked familiar...she reached into her pocket.  
>That was hers!<p>

**Cure 7**

Holding his tongue. That was boring. He did that by himself, as she was not about to do that for him. He warped his arm around her patting her cheek saying it didn't work and to go on with the next one. She was about to comment but he gave her the shush motion by putting, using the same hand as the one that touched her cheek, to her lips. She pushed him and headed to her laptop (that still worked) though stopped in her tracks when she realized he used the same hand to touch her cheek and shush her that he used to hold his tongue.

**Cure 8**

The site said to tickle him. She had refused to do that to him, as he seemed delighted with that idea beckoning her with his finger until she remembered you could die from laughter.  
>So she tried to do just that. Kill him with laughter. This was working just fine until he threw up on her from laughing too much.<p>

**Cure 9**

After changing to a new outfit she began looking for another cure still wondering if this was all worth it. Hiccups weren't so bad right? Wrong! Hiccups added to Izaya's annoyingness and she would get rid of them along with him if possible.

The next cure had said hold your breath. She gasped in joy. This just screamed for her to suffocate him so she did that using her fingers to holding his mouth and nose close but this wasn't fun for her, plus she wanted to stay away incase he threw up again, she used a pillow pressing it towards his face.

This seemed to be working and she could almost taste the freedom until he hiccupped a rather big one causing her to be pushed back by the sudden movement hitting her head on the wall, which knocked her out for quite some time.

**Cure 10**

Honestly she was tired of these cures. They all seem to backfire on her and still did not cure him of the hiccups.

"Stupid cures! Why won't you work!" she yelled shaking her laptop viciously. Izaya laughed in the background. Stupid moron. She's trying to help him (kill him too but help him in the process) and he laughs at her. She glared at him for a while before reading the next cure.

"Scare the person..."

"Oh Namie *hiccup* dear move on to the next one as *hiccup* that wont work I can assure you. *Hiccup* Your to cute to be scary." he said as if stating a fact. She thought other wise though. She went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife before walking back to where he was sitting on the coach.

"What are you doing? *hiccup* You think that's scary? *hiccup* Well its" before he could finish she rushed at him with it giving a battle cry. She was going to get rid of one of her problems today no matter what whether it is him or his accursed hiccups. She should have figured that with him being a master with knives her attack would fail. Well she wasn't thinking to clearly at the moment.

He grabbed her arm quickly disarming her and slamming her on the couch. She glared at him.

"Why Namie if I didn't know you any better I would have thought you were trying to kill me." he said faking innocence.

"Go to hell!" he spat.

"If I do I hope you'll join me." he said playing with her long hair.  
>She was about to tell him to get of her when she noticed he hadn't hiccupped.<br>"Your cured?" she said taking her time to grasp it before smiling. He was finally cured. He was alive but he was cured which meant she was rid of one of her problems. No more stupid cures either.

"Oh Namie how could I be cured of what I never had?"

It took her a while before it all sank in. Her hand shot for his throat but her grabbed it.

"YOU FAKED IT!" she shouted. All those stupid cures and backfires for nothing?

He nodded. "I also knew you were twisting those to your advantage though I'm shocked you tried to kill me several times."

She blushed at being caught red handed. "If you knew then"

"Why did I let you do all that? Well I was bored and it was cute to see you try to help me yet kill me at the same time." whispering it in her ear. This sent shivers down her spine. "I'm a good actor huh? Even better than Shizu-chan's younger brother I do say so myself."

"Why you. you. You. YOU. *hiccup*" Namie clasped her mouth shut. Izaya laughed at this.

"Well well well looks like my dear Namie has the hiccups." He said while eyeing her with amusement. "Don't worry we have a sight with more than 100 cures to try."

Namie gasped at this. Karma was a bitch.

Author's Note: Poor Namie haha. Hoped you like it. R&R That's what that button is for down there is for. :)


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